Perny wishes she was a real guinea pig. source 
I wish I was a guinea pig Cos then I wouldn't give a fig
I'd run around and fart and squeak and shit on laps or have a leak.
I'd eat my oats and screw my dad and act like I am going mad
everyone would say I'm cute tho I only wear my birthday suit
A guineas life is great you see Bye for now I need a pee!